Parshas Chayei Sara
The new year has brought with it a whole world full of new blessings, challenges, opportunities, experiences, and, yes, new people. This year (or rather, just a few days before this year, as my son managed to just make it in the last days 5772) Ettie and I were blessed with a baby boy. Though our world was turned upside down for a little while, because of a medical emergency during my son’s birth, in the end we found that as a result of our experience we are now more right side up than ever before.
In the parsha, Eliezer asked to see a sign that Rivka would draw water for the camels. Why? Because doing this would require great effort, and so her willingness to do so was an indication of her sterling character. Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev writes that Rivka did not water the camels one by one but rather drew water for all of them and did not stop until there was enough water for them all to drink. This was an act of compassion.
I feel truly blessed that Hashem has shown my family a large dose of compassion in the form of my son, Shmuel Abba, being healthy. I wish us all a year filled with compassion, gratitude, and glass filled to the brim with many blessings. As in past years, we hope to share with you moments of inspiration, motivational ideas, many laughs, and a healthy portion of Torah learning. It may have taken a little while to get back to writing, but I must say, it feels good to be back.
In the parsha, Eliezer asked to see a sign that Rivka would draw water for the camels. Why? Because doing this would require great effort, and so her willingness to do so was an indication of her sterling character. Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev writes that Rivka did not water the camels one by one but rather drew water for all of them and did not stop until there was enough water for them all to drink. This was an act of compassion.
I feel truly blessed that Hashem has shown my family a large dose of compassion in the form of my son, Shmuel Abba, being healthy. I wish us all a year filled with compassion, gratitude, and glass filled to the brim with many blessings. As in past years, we hope to share with you moments of inspiration, motivational ideas, many laughs, and a healthy portion of Torah learning. It may have taken a little while to get back to writing, but I must say, it feels good to be back.
Becoming Who We are Meant to Be
Our sages tell the story of a hungry fox who was once walking on the outskirts of a village looking for something to eat. He came upon a beautiful home with a luscious garden filled with a variety of delicious looking fruits and vegetables. What he found the most tantalizing was the bright purple grapes hanging from their vine. There was a very sturdy fence surrounding the garden and though he tried valiantly to jump over the fence he just could not get high enough. Despondent and depressed, he began walking around the perimeter of the garden and stumbled upon a small hole underneath the fence. He tried to squeeze through but alas he was too big.
And so he devised a plan. He fasted for three days, not eating or drinking a single morsel so that he could fit through the hole. Three days passed and he slipped right through and found himself square in the middle of the garden. Overcome with jubilation he ravenously devoured the grapes one by one until there weren’t any left. Stuffed to satisfaction he realized that he had better not stay in the vineyard for too long lest the owner find him. So he made his way back to the hole. Uh oh, he was way too big to fit through. I’ll never make it through the hole after eating so many grapes, he thought. So he devised a plan. He hid behind a mulberry bush and fasted for three days hoping all the while not to get caught. Once he was slender enough he stealthily made his way back to the hole and slipped through to freedom. As he walked away from the garden he bemoaned his fate, “vineyard O’vineyard! How lovely you look and how lovely are your fruits and vines. But what good are you to me? Just as I came to you, so I leave you…”
The poor fox is right, however he may have left the vineyard the same way that he came physically, but it was his choice how he left spiritually. Every year, every month, every day, every hour, and even every minute we are faced with challenges, opportunities, moments of clarity, and moments of utter confusion.
There are special times in our life when time itself seems to cease to exist as we become so enveloped in the moment that we feel as though it may never end. Times like a wedding, a bar mitzvah, or the birth of a child. Then there are moments so surreal, so outside our normal scope of comprehension that we simply cannot believe that it is happening to us, and though time slows down, rather than embrace each second hoping it will never end we pray for a successful outcome which cannot happen too soon.
It has been said that the best defense is a good offense. This means taking the time to learn Torah do mitzvahs and use your talents and attributes to help others and make the world a better place. The more we learn and engage in good deeds the more prepared we become for moments of hardship or challenge.
The secret to it all is that every second is a miracle, a gift, a divinely orchestrated sequence of events tailo-made just for you by the greatest director of all; Hashem. This doesn’t mean that life is easy or a vineyard full of grapes. What it does mean is that we can choose to make the best of every situation by using it as an opportunity to become our true selves.
The pasuk says, “The years of Sara's life were all equally good.” How can this be? Surely Sara suffered times of trial and tribulation. After all, she didn’t have a child for so many years, she was kidnapped by a king, told to leave her land with her husband, and the list goes on. How can we say that all of her days were equally good? Surely some days were better than others.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe explains that though Sara experienced various hardships and challenges, she remained steadfast in her devotion to Hashem and in her commitment to accomplish her divine mission. The challenges she faced did not hinder her efforts to maximize her potential; if anything they propelled her forward. This is what we can learn from our great Matriarch. The greatest blessing you can ever give to someone is that they should merit reaching their true potential. We should ask ourselves every day or better yet throughout the day: am I getting closer or further from becoming the real me. A situation may leave us physically the same, materially better off and sometimes for the worse; but how we internalize the experience and grow from it is our decision.
And so he devised a plan. He fasted for three days, not eating or drinking a single morsel so that he could fit through the hole. Three days passed and he slipped right through and found himself square in the middle of the garden. Overcome with jubilation he ravenously devoured the grapes one by one until there weren’t any left. Stuffed to satisfaction he realized that he had better not stay in the vineyard for too long lest the owner find him. So he made his way back to the hole. Uh oh, he was way too big to fit through. I’ll never make it through the hole after eating so many grapes, he thought. So he devised a plan. He hid behind a mulberry bush and fasted for three days hoping all the while not to get caught. Once he was slender enough he stealthily made his way back to the hole and slipped through to freedom. As he walked away from the garden he bemoaned his fate, “vineyard O’vineyard! How lovely you look and how lovely are your fruits and vines. But what good are you to me? Just as I came to you, so I leave you…”
The poor fox is right, however he may have left the vineyard the same way that he came physically, but it was his choice how he left spiritually. Every year, every month, every day, every hour, and even every minute we are faced with challenges, opportunities, moments of clarity, and moments of utter confusion.
There are special times in our life when time itself seems to cease to exist as we become so enveloped in the moment that we feel as though it may never end. Times like a wedding, a bar mitzvah, or the birth of a child. Then there are moments so surreal, so outside our normal scope of comprehension that we simply cannot believe that it is happening to us, and though time slows down, rather than embrace each second hoping it will never end we pray for a successful outcome which cannot happen too soon.
It has been said that the best defense is a good offense. This means taking the time to learn Torah do mitzvahs and use your talents and attributes to help others and make the world a better place. The more we learn and engage in good deeds the more prepared we become for moments of hardship or challenge.
The secret to it all is that every second is a miracle, a gift, a divinely orchestrated sequence of events tailo-made just for you by the greatest director of all; Hashem. This doesn’t mean that life is easy or a vineyard full of grapes. What it does mean is that we can choose to make the best of every situation by using it as an opportunity to become our true selves.
The pasuk says, “The years of Sara's life were all equally good.” How can this be? Surely Sara suffered times of trial and tribulation. After all, she didn’t have a child for so many years, she was kidnapped by a king, told to leave her land with her husband, and the list goes on. How can we say that all of her days were equally good? Surely some days were better than others.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe explains that though Sara experienced various hardships and challenges, she remained steadfast in her devotion to Hashem and in her commitment to accomplish her divine mission. The challenges she faced did not hinder her efforts to maximize her potential; if anything they propelled her forward. This is what we can learn from our great Matriarch. The greatest blessing you can ever give to someone is that they should merit reaching their true potential. We should ask ourselves every day or better yet throughout the day: am I getting closer or further from becoming the real me. A situation may leave us physically the same, materially better off and sometimes for the worse; but how we internalize the experience and grow from it is our decision.
Feeling Puzzled
The pasuk says, “And Avraham was old, and advanced in days,” however, it can also be translated, “Avraham was old and come along in days.” Meaning that every single moment of every single day Avraham utilized to its maximum. He never let his days just pass by, but rather he brought them with him, using them to the best of his ability. Every moment was accounted for and therefore, the day never got the best of him, rather the days belonged to him; he literally took them with him as he grew older.
How can a person come to accomplish such a remarkable feat?
A man was at work one day and realized that because he was not able to finish all of his tasks, he was going to have to bring some work home with him. Unfortunately, this meant he would not be able to play with his son as soon as he got home, something he did every day. Knowing his son would greet him at the door and be quite disappointed when he told him he could not play with him for some time, he knew he needed a way to keep his son occupied while he finished his work. During lunch he was leafing through a magazine when he came across a map of the world. Perfect, he thought to himself, as he ripped the page out of the magazine and into many different pieces.
When the man arrived home he told his son that he had a special game for him to play. He took an envelope out from his pocket and explained to his son that inside the envelope were many different pieces to a puzzle; a map of the world. He told his son that he had some work to do but that by the time he finished the puzzle, he would have finished his work. Thinking he had at minimum 45 minutes, he went into his office and began working. No more than 10 minutes later, his son knocked on the door and told his father that he had finished. He couldn’t believe it. The son brought him over to the table and showed him the finished puzzle. “But…but, how did you finish it so quickly,” asked the father? “It was easy,” the son replied. “You see, on the other side of the puzzle was the picture of a man, so when I put the man together, the whole world came into place!”
The recent experience of the birth of my son, Shmuel Abba, and his subsequent 12 days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit has given me a new perspective on what it means to put myself together and how one can best put the world into place. The Torah teaches, “Saving one life is like saving the world.” Why? Because every single person is an entire world; the circle of influence that each person has not only affects their own life but the life of every single person that they meet. Rabbi Nachman of Breslev has a wonderful saying, “The day you were born is the day G-d decided that the world could not exist without you.”
My son has taught me what is really important in life. At only a few days old he merited to be the inspiration for hundreds, maybe even thousands of people to say Tehillim, give tzedakah, learn Torah, and do mitzvahs. We all want to be a positive influence on another person’s life, to encourage them to do more and embrace Torah and Mitzvahs, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he managed to motivate more people in his first 2 weeks than I have in my 33 years. Ironically enough, the truly important things in life are not things, but rather people. For many people we live in the age of the “I;” the iPhone, the iPad, and the iTouch are a few examples. And while Apple’s marketing department may have hit a homerun, they missed the big picture. Because life isn’t about the I; it’s about the you, the he, the she, the we.
When we give of ourselves, when we commit ourselves to helping others, learning Torah and doing mitzvahs, our focus should not be that I am doing this for myself, but rather that I am doing this for everyone, for Klal Yisrael. In this way, we emulate our forefather Avraham who dedicated himself to chesed, to kindness. Throughout our lives as we slowly come to realize what is truly important and what is superficial, what is integral and what isn’t essential, we put another piece of our puzzle together. As we complete our own puzzles we realize that they are part of an even greater puzzle; bringing Moshiach.
While my son was in the hospital my time was consumed with taking care of my daughter, being there for my wife, praying, saying Tehillim, and learning in my son’s merit. In essence, doing things that really matter. I didn’t have time for anything that was not meaningful and real. I feel indebted to my son because he has taught me the most valuable lesson I have ever learned; what it means to really make the most of every second of every day. Because of my son, my world has forever changed and completing my puzzle just got easier.
How can a person come to accomplish such a remarkable feat?
A man was at work one day and realized that because he was not able to finish all of his tasks, he was going to have to bring some work home with him. Unfortunately, this meant he would not be able to play with his son as soon as he got home, something he did every day. Knowing his son would greet him at the door and be quite disappointed when he told him he could not play with him for some time, he knew he needed a way to keep his son occupied while he finished his work. During lunch he was leafing through a magazine when he came across a map of the world. Perfect, he thought to himself, as he ripped the page out of the magazine and into many different pieces.
When the man arrived home he told his son that he had a special game for him to play. He took an envelope out from his pocket and explained to his son that inside the envelope were many different pieces to a puzzle; a map of the world. He told his son that he had some work to do but that by the time he finished the puzzle, he would have finished his work. Thinking he had at minimum 45 minutes, he went into his office and began working. No more than 10 minutes later, his son knocked on the door and told his father that he had finished. He couldn’t believe it. The son brought him over to the table and showed him the finished puzzle. “But…but, how did you finish it so quickly,” asked the father? “It was easy,” the son replied. “You see, on the other side of the puzzle was the picture of a man, so when I put the man together, the whole world came into place!”
The recent experience of the birth of my son, Shmuel Abba, and his subsequent 12 days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit has given me a new perspective on what it means to put myself together and how one can best put the world into place. The Torah teaches, “Saving one life is like saving the world.” Why? Because every single person is an entire world; the circle of influence that each person has not only affects their own life but the life of every single person that they meet. Rabbi Nachman of Breslev has a wonderful saying, “The day you were born is the day G-d decided that the world could not exist without you.”
My son has taught me what is really important in life. At only a few days old he merited to be the inspiration for hundreds, maybe even thousands of people to say Tehillim, give tzedakah, learn Torah, and do mitzvahs. We all want to be a positive influence on another person’s life, to encourage them to do more and embrace Torah and Mitzvahs, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he managed to motivate more people in his first 2 weeks than I have in my 33 years. Ironically enough, the truly important things in life are not things, but rather people. For many people we live in the age of the “I;” the iPhone, the iPad, and the iTouch are a few examples. And while Apple’s marketing department may have hit a homerun, they missed the big picture. Because life isn’t about the I; it’s about the you, the he, the she, the we.
When we give of ourselves, when we commit ourselves to helping others, learning Torah and doing mitzvahs, our focus should not be that I am doing this for myself, but rather that I am doing this for everyone, for Klal Yisrael. In this way, we emulate our forefather Avraham who dedicated himself to chesed, to kindness. Throughout our lives as we slowly come to realize what is truly important and what is superficial, what is integral and what isn’t essential, we put another piece of our puzzle together. As we complete our own puzzles we realize that they are part of an even greater puzzle; bringing Moshiach.
While my son was in the hospital my time was consumed with taking care of my daughter, being there for my wife, praying, saying Tehillim, and learning in my son’s merit. In essence, doing things that really matter. I didn’t have time for anything that was not meaningful and real. I feel indebted to my son because he has taught me the most valuable lesson I have ever learned; what it means to really make the most of every second of every day. Because of my son, my world has forever changed and completing my puzzle just got easier.
