Parshas Vayeira -- 14 Mar Cheshvan, 5771 /October 22, 2010 -- Vol. 2, Issue 1
I have wanted to put out the first issue of Volume II of A Shtikel Vort for several weeks now, but since my daughter, Bayla, was born every day seems to be filled from morning to night. Bayla keeps us busy, whether it’s going for walks with her, davening with her, or just watching her experience life. In fact, it is amazing how much I have learned from watching my daughter over the last 6 months.
Good friends of ours gave Bayla an exersaucer about 6 weeks ago and I have to say it’s amazing. It comes equipped with what seems like an unlimited array of different toys, bells, and whistles. I thought that when we put Bayla in the exersaucer she wouldn’t know which toy to choose first and would probably move from toy to toy quickly assessing which ones there were and which were her favourite. However, Bayla only focused on one side of the exersaucer completely ignoring the other side. In fact, it was almost as though only one half of the exersaucer existed for her.
Each time I put Bayla in the exersaucer, I suggested to her to explore the other side and see what it has to offer. I even purposely put her in facing the toys that she seemingly didn’t know about so she would play with those first. I thought that if she would only give those toys a chance she would see that they are really great. Of course, Bayla is only 6 months and not yet aware of every-thing that I tell her, but still I figured that I might as well try.
Then, finally one day while eating breakfast, Ettie and I noticed Bayla turn in the exersaucer and start examining the toys on the other side. Slowly and carefully she looked at each toy and began playing with it. Now time in the exersaucer took on a whole new meaning as there were so many different toys for her to choose from!
Often in life we are hesitant to try new things or go in a new direction. When Hashem told Avraham “Lech Lecha” in last week’s parsha Avraham was faced with the daunting task of leaving what he knew and venturing into the unknown. How was Avraham able to go out right away? Because Avraham knew that Hashem had his best interests in mind. Often what lies in the unknown can be less intimidating if we recognize that Hashem is guiding our lives and giving us the command to “go out” in order that we succeed in reaching our potential.
Good friends of ours gave Bayla an exersaucer about 6 weeks ago and I have to say it’s amazing. It comes equipped with what seems like an unlimited array of different toys, bells, and whistles. I thought that when we put Bayla in the exersaucer she wouldn’t know which toy to choose first and would probably move from toy to toy quickly assessing which ones there were and which were her favourite. However, Bayla only focused on one side of the exersaucer completely ignoring the other side. In fact, it was almost as though only one half of the exersaucer existed for her.
Each time I put Bayla in the exersaucer, I suggested to her to explore the other side and see what it has to offer. I even purposely put her in facing the toys that she seemingly didn’t know about so she would play with those first. I thought that if she would only give those toys a chance she would see that they are really great. Of course, Bayla is only 6 months and not yet aware of every-thing that I tell her, but still I figured that I might as well try.
Then, finally one day while eating breakfast, Ettie and I noticed Bayla turn in the exersaucer and start examining the toys on the other side. Slowly and carefully she looked at each toy and began playing with it. Now time in the exersaucer took on a whole new meaning as there were so many different toys for her to choose from!
Often in life we are hesitant to try new things or go in a new direction. When Hashem told Avraham “Lech Lecha” in last week’s parsha Avraham was faced with the daunting task of leaving what he knew and venturing into the unknown. How was Avraham able to go out right away? Because Avraham knew that Hashem had his best interests in mind. Often what lies in the unknown can be less intimidating if we recognize that Hashem is guiding our lives and giving us the command to “go out” in order that we succeed in reaching our potential.
Parshas Vayeira -- 14 Chesvan 5772 / November 11, 2011 -- Vol. 3, Issue 2
_ The power of laughter is truly amazing. Laugher brings a smile to our face when we
are feeling down, it can alleviate a stressful situation, it allows us to
express our delight of a good joke, and is a proven remedy for multiple
ailments. What is truly unique about laughter is that it
is an emotional response which is exclusively external. A person can be sad on the inside and not let
anyone know. A person can be beyond angry
and keep it to himself. However when a
person laughs, this they cannot hide from others.
In last week’s parsha Avraham laughed when he was told that Sara would give birth to a son and in this week’s parsha it is written that Sara, “laughed within herself”. What does it mean that Sara laughed within herself? After all, how can one laugh without others hearing it?
From this we can learn a powerful lesson. There are two ways of dealing with a situation: in an external manner in which others are aware of our situation, and internally where we hide our thoughts and feelings inside. However, even though we may be able to conceal our emotions from our family and friends, we can’t hide from G-d. And so when Hashem asked Avraham, “why did Sara laugh,” He was letting Sarah know that one is never alone. Hashem is always with us.
Hashem is there for us at times when we are surrounded by others and at times when we think we are by ourselves. While Sara doubted whether she would be able to accomplish her goal, Hashem knew what she was truly capable of accomplishing. Sara wasn’t really laughing alone because Hashem was always with her. Keep your eyes on the horizon and focused on completing your mission and know that nothing is impossible to accomplish with Hashem’s help. And laughter? It’s okay to laugh as long as we are aren’t laughing off our potential. After all, sometimes a little bit of laughter goes a very long way.
In last week’s parsha Avraham laughed when he was told that Sara would give birth to a son and in this week’s parsha it is written that Sara, “laughed within herself”. What does it mean that Sara laughed within herself? After all, how can one laugh without others hearing it?
From this we can learn a powerful lesson. There are two ways of dealing with a situation: in an external manner in which others are aware of our situation, and internally where we hide our thoughts and feelings inside. However, even though we may be able to conceal our emotions from our family and friends, we can’t hide from G-d. And so when Hashem asked Avraham, “why did Sara laugh,” He was letting Sarah know that one is never alone. Hashem is always with us.
Hashem is there for us at times when we are surrounded by others and at times when we think we are by ourselves. While Sara doubted whether she would be able to accomplish her goal, Hashem knew what she was truly capable of accomplishing. Sara wasn’t really laughing alone because Hashem was always with her. Keep your eyes on the horizon and focused on completing your mission and know that nothing is impossible to accomplish with Hashem’s help. And laughter? It’s okay to laugh as long as we are aren’t laughing off our potential. After all, sometimes a little bit of laughter goes a very long way.
Turning Back the Clock
This past Motzei Shabbos, in many places around the world, including British Columbia, we set the clocks back an hour reverting back to Standard Time. When my friend reminded me that it was this week that we change the clocks, many thoughts came to mind. An extra hour of sleep would be great, it would finally bring me to 6 hours of sleep for the night. Or some extra time to make it past chapter one of a book I bought already months ago. Or to do some cleaning, I think the bathtub is calling my name. It never seems as though there is enough time in the day to accomplish all that needs to be done, so it was quite refreshing to have a 25 hour day.
But then I started to really think about the whole idea of setting the clocks back. Were we really able to change time? What if I were to change my watch back two hours? Why, everyone would think that was ridiculous. I’d be late for appointments and miss out on many activities. So, setting back the clocks only works because we as a collective whole do so. But who are we really tricking? When it’s convenient; setting the clock ahead, when it’s not convenient, setting it back. I wonder what Hashem thinks of all this as He watches our attempts at manipulating His creation.
Now setting the clocks may give us an extra hour for a variety of tasks, but it doesn’t literally help us to go back in time. What if it could? What if I could go back to yesterday when I made that comment which I wished I hadn’t, or to last week when I forgot to hand in my assignment on time, or even last month when I missed the deadline to sign up for a phone plan that was even better than the one I currently have. What if I could just turn back the clock and correct all those “mistakes”? Wouldn’t my life be so much smoother, so much easier, so much more peaceful?
Avraham Avinu had 10 tests which he went through; the ultimate one which culminated in his readiness to sacrifice his son Yitzchak’s life after being childless for so many years. Each of the tests that Avraham faced, he did so with vitality, exuberantly proclaiming to Hashem, “Here I am.” He confidently tackled the challenges without thoughts of despair or distress. Furthermore, after each test not once did Avraham complain or question his role in life. Rather, he persevered forward moving on to the next phase of Hashem’s plan.
Why don’t we read about Avraham bemoaning his fate and reviewing his life to Sara? I can just imagine the conversation would sound something like this:
Avraham: Oh Sara, I can’t believe that I referred to you as my sister. That was so silly. I should have just said you were my wife. And what was I thinking shrugging off Hashem to go and take care of three strangers whom I didn’t even know? If only I could turn back the clock and relive those moments, surely I would do things better!
The reason we never heard such a discussion is because it directly contradicts that which Hashem created the world for. Our mission is to make a deira bitachtonim
(dwelling place) here on Earth. The way we achieve this is to take the imperfect and cultivate and transform it into perfection. The “mistakes” we make in life are what gives us the chance to grow, learn, persevere and challenge ourselves to reach new heights.
Regarding Avraham’s tests, the question asked is why did Hashem test Avraham? Didn’t Hashem know how Avraham would react? Hashem tested Avraham not so Hashem could know but rather so that Avraham could know what he was capable of achieving. You see, going back in time may give us the opportunity to eliminate our mistakes, but it also eradicates our opportunity for development and growth. So while an extra hour is a welcomed benefit it’s always better to take two steps forward rather than one step back!
But then I started to really think about the whole idea of setting the clocks back. Were we really able to change time? What if I were to change my watch back two hours? Why, everyone would think that was ridiculous. I’d be late for appointments and miss out on many activities. So, setting back the clocks only works because we as a collective whole do so. But who are we really tricking? When it’s convenient; setting the clock ahead, when it’s not convenient, setting it back. I wonder what Hashem thinks of all this as He watches our attempts at manipulating His creation.
Now setting the clocks may give us an extra hour for a variety of tasks, but it doesn’t literally help us to go back in time. What if it could? What if I could go back to yesterday when I made that comment which I wished I hadn’t, or to last week when I forgot to hand in my assignment on time, or even last month when I missed the deadline to sign up for a phone plan that was even better than the one I currently have. What if I could just turn back the clock and correct all those “mistakes”? Wouldn’t my life be so much smoother, so much easier, so much more peaceful?
Avraham Avinu had 10 tests which he went through; the ultimate one which culminated in his readiness to sacrifice his son Yitzchak’s life after being childless for so many years. Each of the tests that Avraham faced, he did so with vitality, exuberantly proclaiming to Hashem, “Here I am.” He confidently tackled the challenges without thoughts of despair or distress. Furthermore, after each test not once did Avraham complain or question his role in life. Rather, he persevered forward moving on to the next phase of Hashem’s plan.
Why don’t we read about Avraham bemoaning his fate and reviewing his life to Sara? I can just imagine the conversation would sound something like this:
Avraham: Oh Sara, I can’t believe that I referred to you as my sister. That was so silly. I should have just said you were my wife. And what was I thinking shrugging off Hashem to go and take care of three strangers whom I didn’t even know? If only I could turn back the clock and relive those moments, surely I would do things better!
The reason we never heard such a discussion is because it directly contradicts that which Hashem created the world for. Our mission is to make a deira bitachtonim
(dwelling place) here on Earth. The way we achieve this is to take the imperfect and cultivate and transform it into perfection. The “mistakes” we make in life are what gives us the chance to grow, learn, persevere and challenge ourselves to reach new heights.
Regarding Avraham’s tests, the question asked is why did Hashem test Avraham? Didn’t Hashem know how Avraham would react? Hashem tested Avraham not so Hashem could know but rather so that Avraham could know what he was capable of achieving. You see, going back in time may give us the opportunity to eliminate our mistakes, but it also eradicates our opportunity for development and growth. So while an extra hour is a welcomed benefit it’s always better to take two steps forward rather than one step back!
From Here to There
Often the most difficult and dangerous times in one’s life occur during transition periods. Why is this? Transition periods are a time of transience. They are in-between stages in which you’re not fully sheltered as you move from one point to another and one’s clarity is hindered.
For example, one of the most hazardous parts of driving is changing lanes. While transitioning from one lane to the other, you have to do a shoulder check to ensure no cars are approaching, as the mirrors can leave you with a blind spot in your vision. Furthermore, the side view mirror clearly notes that “objects may be closer than they appear.” In the mental health field, transitions are seen as a time when individuals may need extra support and assistance. There are “transition teams” and individual “transition workers” whose role it is to help individuals facilitate a transition in their life, whether it is from adolescence to adulthood or from one career to the next.
In this week’s Parsha, Vayeira, we see a continuation from last week where Avraham is in the middle of a transitional phase of life as he journeys from his homeland to an unknown destination which ultimately leads him to Jerusalem. How was Avraham able to make such a transition so smoothly and without issue? The truth is he wasn’t! Avraham had more than his share of bumps in the road including; having his wife abducted twice, having to go to war to rescue his nephew Lot, circumcising himself at age 100, and of course his willingness to sacrifice his son whom he had waited with baited breath for so long. How does one endure such difficulties and still maintain a strong disposition and clear agenda?
We saw in last week’s parsha, Lech Lecha, that Hashem instructed Avraham to “lech lecha” which means “go forth.” The Rebbe Rashab explains that the verse can also be translated as “go to you,” i.e. meaning go to your real self; a transition of inner refinement. To let go of everything you think you are and become everything that Hashem knows you can be. In other words, to stop being comfortable, and to start being proactive. Avraham was successful, as he was able to keep constantly aware of the most important aspect of his transition, not where he was going, but rather whom he was traveling with.
Having a travelling companion alleviates much stress, worry, and fears, as both partners know they each have someone with whom they are facing each obstacle with. We read in this week’s parsha’s opening lines that Hashem appeared to Avraham. Part of Avraham’s greatness was that he kept Hashem in his sight at all times, even when Hashem wasn’t specifically revealing Himself to Avraham.
There are times in life when we feel as though we are on a difficult path, one which we tread down all alone. The truth, though, is that we have a most knowledgeable and formidable travel companion: Hashem.
During their travels, Avraham refers to Sara in different ways. At times, Avraham calls Sara his wife, while at a time of danger he refers to her as his sister. The Rebbe explains that this represents two different types of love. The love between a husband and wife is a passionate love which needs cultivation and nurturing. The love of siblings is a calm but consistent love. These two types of love are an intricate part of our relationship with Hashem. On the one hand, it is important that our relationship with Hashem be passionate and exhilarating. On the other hand, it is imperative that it also remain constant and steady.
The combination of the two types of love forms the equation for an enduring marriage as passion plus consistency equals capacity. The capacity for what? To endure any transition, any challenge or obstacle, and transform it into an opportunity for growth. You see, unlike when looking in the side view mirror of a car, Hashem doesn’t only appear to be close, He actually is close at all times. In our relationship with Hashem there are no blind spots, for he is always there for us to see, we just have to remember to look.
For example, one of the most hazardous parts of driving is changing lanes. While transitioning from one lane to the other, you have to do a shoulder check to ensure no cars are approaching, as the mirrors can leave you with a blind spot in your vision. Furthermore, the side view mirror clearly notes that “objects may be closer than they appear.” In the mental health field, transitions are seen as a time when individuals may need extra support and assistance. There are “transition teams” and individual “transition workers” whose role it is to help individuals facilitate a transition in their life, whether it is from adolescence to adulthood or from one career to the next.
In this week’s Parsha, Vayeira, we see a continuation from last week where Avraham is in the middle of a transitional phase of life as he journeys from his homeland to an unknown destination which ultimately leads him to Jerusalem. How was Avraham able to make such a transition so smoothly and without issue? The truth is he wasn’t! Avraham had more than his share of bumps in the road including; having his wife abducted twice, having to go to war to rescue his nephew Lot, circumcising himself at age 100, and of course his willingness to sacrifice his son whom he had waited with baited breath for so long. How does one endure such difficulties and still maintain a strong disposition and clear agenda?
We saw in last week’s parsha, Lech Lecha, that Hashem instructed Avraham to “lech lecha” which means “go forth.” The Rebbe Rashab explains that the verse can also be translated as “go to you,” i.e. meaning go to your real self; a transition of inner refinement. To let go of everything you think you are and become everything that Hashem knows you can be. In other words, to stop being comfortable, and to start being proactive. Avraham was successful, as he was able to keep constantly aware of the most important aspect of his transition, not where he was going, but rather whom he was traveling with.
Having a travelling companion alleviates much stress, worry, and fears, as both partners know they each have someone with whom they are facing each obstacle with. We read in this week’s parsha’s opening lines that Hashem appeared to Avraham. Part of Avraham’s greatness was that he kept Hashem in his sight at all times, even when Hashem wasn’t specifically revealing Himself to Avraham.
There are times in life when we feel as though we are on a difficult path, one which we tread down all alone. The truth, though, is that we have a most knowledgeable and formidable travel companion: Hashem.
During their travels, Avraham refers to Sara in different ways. At times, Avraham calls Sara his wife, while at a time of danger he refers to her as his sister. The Rebbe explains that this represents two different types of love. The love between a husband and wife is a passionate love which needs cultivation and nurturing. The love of siblings is a calm but consistent love. These two types of love are an intricate part of our relationship with Hashem. On the one hand, it is important that our relationship with Hashem be passionate and exhilarating. On the other hand, it is imperative that it also remain constant and steady.
The combination of the two types of love forms the equation for an enduring marriage as passion plus consistency equals capacity. The capacity for what? To endure any transition, any challenge or obstacle, and transform it into an opportunity for growth. You see, unlike when looking in the side view mirror of a car, Hashem doesn’t only appear to be close, He actually is close at all times. In our relationship with Hashem there are no blind spots, for he is always there for us to see, we just have to remember to look.
Parshas Vayeira: Open Lines of Communication
I’m in the market for a new cell phone, and the choices are unbelievable. First I have to choose a phone, and then I have to select a plan, or sometimes it’s the other way around and the plan comes with a phone. One company provides excellent customer service but their coverage is minimal. Another company boasts free incoming calls for only $10.00 a month with 200 day time minutes. Still a third company offers unlimited national and international text messaging, as long as you activate a two year plan. To tell you the truth, I’m somewhat worried that by the time I sort through all of the information and compare and contrast all the different plans that they won’t even be valid anymore and there will be new plans on the market.
Let’s say for arguments sake that I decide on the right phone plan for me. Then comes the financial aspect. I have to pay the activation fee, government service fee (no one really knows what that is), 911 access fee, voice message retrieval fee, and of course all applicable taxes. Phew! I’m exhausted just thinking about it. How and when did communication become so complicated? Who thought staying in touch with people could be so much work. But keeping up with people does take effort and a proactive attitude.
Although cell phones are supposed to aid in this noble endeavour more often than not it seems that they are quite the hindrance as well. After all, how many of us have been sitting with friends having a discussion only to notice that in the middle of our pouring out our mind, heart, and soul they are preoccupied with text messaging, or checking their email.
What’s more important, the person you are talking to or what is going on somewhere else? Shouldn’t you give your full attention to the person you are talking with? I would think so. However, in this week’s parsha there is evidence that seemingly points in the opposite direction.
The parsha opens up with Hashem revealing himself to Avraham. Now this is a pretty big deal. In fact, it’s huge. Every time that Hashem reveals himself to Avraham it is for a significant reason; choosing him to be the father of the Jewish people, telling him to circumcise himself and so on. Now when G-d appears to Avraham what happens? Avraham sees three men in the distance and says, “G-d you know what, I have to take care of something would you mind holding on for a minute? Okay thanks I’ll be back soon!” Isn’t this the same as sending a text in the middle of a business meeting, or posting a message on facebook while eating dinner with your family? You are in the middle of a one to one conference with Hashem and you excuse yourself to see about some strangers let alone good friends?
And yet there is an invaluable lesson that can be learned here. Most often when a per-son interrupts who they are with it is because they believe that something or someone greater awaits, and therefore they are willing to put off the person they are speaking with for what they believe will be a greater gain. However, in this case Avraham was speaking with Hashem, the ultimate!
I imagine that there is nothing more important than giving your full attention to the Master of the universe. Except one thing, and that is doing a mitzvah. Avraham was actually taking himself out of the most important meeting he could possibly be in and jeopardized his relationship with Hashem in order to help another person. Avraham wouldn’t gain anything from interrupting his rendezvous yet he was willing to forgo speaking with Hashem to show hospitality to travelers.
Avraham understood that showing full commitment to doing good deeds for other people was in fact more precious to G-d than anything else. Because how do you truly show love for someone? By loving what they love and putting their agenda ahead of your own. Hashem is in the business of doing acts of kindness for mankind and Avraham was in a sense his greatest protégé.
From this, we can learn to be there for the people who are with us in the moment and to put facebook and Gmail on hold. The exception to the rule? Doing a mitzvah. And when that happens invite the person you are with to join in, after all, two people doing a mitzvah is better than one.
What about connecting with G-d? Which-ever „model‟ of siddur you use, whether it is Ashkenazi, Sephardi, Teminite, or Chassidic, we all have unlimited plans with no going over our limit, because no matter where you are, calling G-d is always a local call.
As for my decision on a cell phone and a plan, I think I’ll wait until January when they go on sale. For now, I’ll concentrate on doing mitzvahs; there are no hidden government fees with that!
Let’s say for arguments sake that I decide on the right phone plan for me. Then comes the financial aspect. I have to pay the activation fee, government service fee (no one really knows what that is), 911 access fee, voice message retrieval fee, and of course all applicable taxes. Phew! I’m exhausted just thinking about it. How and when did communication become so complicated? Who thought staying in touch with people could be so much work. But keeping up with people does take effort and a proactive attitude.
Although cell phones are supposed to aid in this noble endeavour more often than not it seems that they are quite the hindrance as well. After all, how many of us have been sitting with friends having a discussion only to notice that in the middle of our pouring out our mind, heart, and soul they are preoccupied with text messaging, or checking their email.
What’s more important, the person you are talking to or what is going on somewhere else? Shouldn’t you give your full attention to the person you are talking with? I would think so. However, in this week’s parsha there is evidence that seemingly points in the opposite direction.
The parsha opens up with Hashem revealing himself to Avraham. Now this is a pretty big deal. In fact, it’s huge. Every time that Hashem reveals himself to Avraham it is for a significant reason; choosing him to be the father of the Jewish people, telling him to circumcise himself and so on. Now when G-d appears to Avraham what happens? Avraham sees three men in the distance and says, “G-d you know what, I have to take care of something would you mind holding on for a minute? Okay thanks I’ll be back soon!” Isn’t this the same as sending a text in the middle of a business meeting, or posting a message on facebook while eating dinner with your family? You are in the middle of a one to one conference with Hashem and you excuse yourself to see about some strangers let alone good friends?
And yet there is an invaluable lesson that can be learned here. Most often when a per-son interrupts who they are with it is because they believe that something or someone greater awaits, and therefore they are willing to put off the person they are speaking with for what they believe will be a greater gain. However, in this case Avraham was speaking with Hashem, the ultimate!
I imagine that there is nothing more important than giving your full attention to the Master of the universe. Except one thing, and that is doing a mitzvah. Avraham was actually taking himself out of the most important meeting he could possibly be in and jeopardized his relationship with Hashem in order to help another person. Avraham wouldn’t gain anything from interrupting his rendezvous yet he was willing to forgo speaking with Hashem to show hospitality to travelers.
Avraham understood that showing full commitment to doing good deeds for other people was in fact more precious to G-d than anything else. Because how do you truly show love for someone? By loving what they love and putting their agenda ahead of your own. Hashem is in the business of doing acts of kindness for mankind and Avraham was in a sense his greatest protégé.
From this, we can learn to be there for the people who are with us in the moment and to put facebook and Gmail on hold. The exception to the rule? Doing a mitzvah. And when that happens invite the person you are with to join in, after all, two people doing a mitzvah is better than one.
What about connecting with G-d? Which-ever „model‟ of siddur you use, whether it is Ashkenazi, Sephardi, Teminite, or Chassidic, we all have unlimited plans with no going over our limit, because no matter where you are, calling G-d is always a local call.
As for my decision on a cell phone and a plan, I think I’ll wait until January when they go on sale. For now, I’ll concentrate on doing mitzvahs; there are no hidden government fees with that!
