Shavuos Edition -- 6 Sivan, 5771 / June 8, 2011 -- Vol. 2, Issue 16
For me, thoughts of Shavuos include cuddly stuffed Torah toys, cheese blintzes, strawberry cheesecake, ice cream parties, and anything and everything else yummy that is dairy! Of course, the conclusion of Sefiras Ha’Omer, an all-night learning session, and Matan Torah come to mind as well. During the all night learning, the table is laden with delicious hors d’oeuvres, or as is commonly called, farbisen. At the conclusion of the morning services is when the scrumptious long-awaited dairy kiddish is served with treats that are famously synonymous with Shavuos.
So who is behind these delectable treats and goodies? The answer of course is simple; our wives, our aisheschayils (woman of valour). But it’s more than just amazing cooking and baking that they are responsible for. For every great dvar Torah that the Rabbi delivers, it means his wife listened, critiqued, and helped mold it into the unforgettable speech that it became. For every excellent article that is written, it means my wife took the time to edit, make suggestions, and tweak and hone its message until it was clear and insightful.
When the Torah was given, it was given first to the women and then to the men. As it says, “So shall you say to the House of Yaakov, and relate to the Children of Israel” (Yisro 19:3). Why is it that the Torah was given first to the women and then to the men? It’s a known universal fact that if you want to build a strong structure, you need one key ingredient. It isn’t the windows, doors, or light fixtures, but rather a strong foundation which means the difference between a temporary dwelling and an everlasting edifice. It is the matriarch of the household that brings all the elements of the home together.
As we enjoy our learning this Shavuos complimented by many tasty treats, let’s remember who is behind it all and give them our utmost gratitude.
So who is behind these delectable treats and goodies? The answer of course is simple; our wives, our aisheschayils (woman of valour). But it’s more than just amazing cooking and baking that they are responsible for. For every great dvar Torah that the Rabbi delivers, it means his wife listened, critiqued, and helped mold it into the unforgettable speech that it became. For every excellent article that is written, it means my wife took the time to edit, make suggestions, and tweak and hone its message until it was clear and insightful.
When the Torah was given, it was given first to the women and then to the men. As it says, “So shall you say to the House of Yaakov, and relate to the Children of Israel” (Yisro 19:3). Why is it that the Torah was given first to the women and then to the men? It’s a known universal fact that if you want to build a strong structure, you need one key ingredient. It isn’t the windows, doors, or light fixtures, but rather a strong foundation which means the difference between a temporary dwelling and an everlasting edifice. It is the matriarch of the household that brings all the elements of the home together.
As we enjoy our learning this Shavuos complimented by many tasty treats, let’s remember who is behind it all and give them our utmost gratitude.
Shavuos: Desert vs. Dessert
Shavuos is a time when we celebrate the Jewish people’s marriage with Hashem, so it is only fitting that we focus on relationships and their meaning this time of year.
When a person first begins a relationship, it starts out very fresh and exciting. Everything is new as they slowly find out about the other person and they share thoughts, ideas, and similarities. Slowly but surely, they settle into a routine which becomes familiar, comfortable, and safe. Ideally, what a couple wants to do is facilitate a fusion of the two; a relationship which is stimulating and secure.
Leading psychologists and books on relationships advise a couple to arrange a special evening each week that they spend some extra time together; in other words, a ‘date night.’ Hashem in His infinite wisdom did this in his relationship with the Jewish people, and thus we have the Shabbos.
Furthermore, while a date night once a week for a few hours is fantastic, it is also recommended that, if feasible, a husband and wife have a small getaway once a month for 24 hours where they can focus on their growth as a couple. Again, Hashem beat the psychologists to it in the first commandment that Hashem gave the Jewish people as they left Egypt was to celebrate Rosh Chodesh.
And of course, there is the widespread custom to commemorate once a year the anniversary of one’s marriage; which brings us to Shavuos.
What does a person do if after all this they still feel that their relationship is lacking? What could be the reason for their deficient feeling?
There was once a blacksmith apprentice who decided that he had learned all he could from his master and decided to open his own shop. He bought all new tools and rented a store front in the next town. Shortly after, his old master visited him only to see that the apprentice was sitting in his store surrounded by new tools with nothing being produced.
“What’s wrong my young apprentice? I thought you had learned everything you needed to from me!” The apprentice responded, “Indeed, I did learn much from you. However, I realize now that I left your tutelage too early. For you see I know how to use the tools and how to forge metal in the fire, but alas I never learned how to make the spark!”
Language is interesting. Letters make up words, and the addition or subtraction of one letter can alter the meaning of a word completely. For example, we know that the Torah was given to the Jewish people in the desert. Desert is spelled, d-e-s-e-r-t. If however, we add a single “s” in the right place, the word desert becomes the word dessert!
The extra “s” stands for simcha (joy). That simcha is the spark that illuminates our relationship and keeps it fresh and invigorating yet safe and secure. It is important that we ask ourselves, how do we view our marriage to Hashem, as a desert or as a dessert.
Simcha is not a product of an event or occasion, but rather a state of being which we ourselves have the power and obligation to create and sustain.
A chassid once came to the Tzemach Tzedek, complaining bitterly that he had ‘sfaikos’ (doubts) in his faith in Hashem. “Rebbe,” he cried, “I just don’t know what to do. I have real sfaikos in Hashem!” “Is that all?” replied the Rebbe. “But Rebbe, don’t you understand, sfaikos!” “Why does this concern you so much?” asked the Rebbe. “Because,” answered the chassid, “I’m a Jew and I am connected to Hashem!” “In that case, you have nothing to worry about!” answered the Rebbe.
The fact that the chassid was having doubts in his faith, combined with his concern for his relationship with Hashem, actually revealed that he had faith in Hashem. Surprisingly, a person is able to live with a paradox within himself. What is needed is to focus on the faith that exists and build on it, rather than concentrating on eliminating the doubt which will naturally occur once the faith has been strengthened.
It is up to us whether our perspective is that of a desert or a dessert. Do we ask Hashem what He can do for us or do we ask what we can do for Hashem? Do we focus on what we are lacking or are we able to extract the sweetness from each and every situation?
So while strawberries make the perfect topic for a cheesecake, it is simcha that brings out the true taste of life!
When a person first begins a relationship, it starts out very fresh and exciting. Everything is new as they slowly find out about the other person and they share thoughts, ideas, and similarities. Slowly but surely, they settle into a routine which becomes familiar, comfortable, and safe. Ideally, what a couple wants to do is facilitate a fusion of the two; a relationship which is stimulating and secure.
Leading psychologists and books on relationships advise a couple to arrange a special evening each week that they spend some extra time together; in other words, a ‘date night.’ Hashem in His infinite wisdom did this in his relationship with the Jewish people, and thus we have the Shabbos.
Furthermore, while a date night once a week for a few hours is fantastic, it is also recommended that, if feasible, a husband and wife have a small getaway once a month for 24 hours where they can focus on their growth as a couple. Again, Hashem beat the psychologists to it in the first commandment that Hashem gave the Jewish people as they left Egypt was to celebrate Rosh Chodesh.
And of course, there is the widespread custom to commemorate once a year the anniversary of one’s marriage; which brings us to Shavuos.
What does a person do if after all this they still feel that their relationship is lacking? What could be the reason for their deficient feeling?
There was once a blacksmith apprentice who decided that he had learned all he could from his master and decided to open his own shop. He bought all new tools and rented a store front in the next town. Shortly after, his old master visited him only to see that the apprentice was sitting in his store surrounded by new tools with nothing being produced.
“What’s wrong my young apprentice? I thought you had learned everything you needed to from me!” The apprentice responded, “Indeed, I did learn much from you. However, I realize now that I left your tutelage too early. For you see I know how to use the tools and how to forge metal in the fire, but alas I never learned how to make the spark!”
Language is interesting. Letters make up words, and the addition or subtraction of one letter can alter the meaning of a word completely. For example, we know that the Torah was given to the Jewish people in the desert. Desert is spelled, d-e-s-e-r-t. If however, we add a single “s” in the right place, the word desert becomes the word dessert!
The extra “s” stands for simcha (joy). That simcha is the spark that illuminates our relationship and keeps it fresh and invigorating yet safe and secure. It is important that we ask ourselves, how do we view our marriage to Hashem, as a desert or as a dessert.
Simcha is not a product of an event or occasion, but rather a state of being which we ourselves have the power and obligation to create and sustain.
A chassid once came to the Tzemach Tzedek, complaining bitterly that he had ‘sfaikos’ (doubts) in his faith in Hashem. “Rebbe,” he cried, “I just don’t know what to do. I have real sfaikos in Hashem!” “Is that all?” replied the Rebbe. “But Rebbe, don’t you understand, sfaikos!” “Why does this concern you so much?” asked the Rebbe. “Because,” answered the chassid, “I’m a Jew and I am connected to Hashem!” “In that case, you have nothing to worry about!” answered the Rebbe.
The fact that the chassid was having doubts in his faith, combined with his concern for his relationship with Hashem, actually revealed that he had faith in Hashem. Surprisingly, a person is able to live with a paradox within himself. What is needed is to focus on the faith that exists and build on it, rather than concentrating on eliminating the doubt which will naturally occur once the faith has been strengthened.
It is up to us whether our perspective is that of a desert or a dessert. Do we ask Hashem what He can do for us or do we ask what we can do for Hashem? Do we focus on what we are lacking or are we able to extract the sweetness from each and every situation?
So while strawberries make the perfect topic for a cheesecake, it is simcha that brings out the true taste of life!
