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Counselling Korach

6/20/2014

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In this week’s Parsha, Korach challenges Moshe’s authority and asks whether it is right that Moshe should be the leader of the Jewish people.   There is a standoff of sorts with the end result being that the earth opened wide and swallowed Korach and his collaborators up.

In today’s day and age, many issues can be resolved through counselling, whether it be with a Rabbi, psychologist, social worker, or other clinician.  Let’s imagine for a moment that Korach had had the opportunity to see a therapist before he decided to organize a coup d’état against Moshe.  I think the session would most probably sound something like this:

Therapist: So Rabbi Korach what brings you here?

Korach: I don’t know really, I was referred here by a friend of mine.

Therapist:  Well, I’m very glad you came.  How are you today?

Korach:  I’m pretty angry right now I can tell you that much.  

Therapist:  Tell me more about being angry.

Korach:  I can tell you a whole lot about being angry that’s for sure.  I’m more than angry, I’m furious.  I’ve had it up to here (gestures with his hands) with Moshe.  It’s always Moshe this and Moshe that.  He thinks he’s so much smarter than the rest of us.

Therapist:  Is this Moshe a friend of yours?  

Korach:  Friend?  I wouldn’t say a friend, more like an acquaintance.  Well, we used to be friends before he became the ‘head honcho’.  Why should he be the leader of all of us?  Did you know that I’m from the tribe of Levi?  It’s not as if he’s the only Levi in town!

Therapist:  So I hear you saying that you’re questioning whether Moshe should be the leader of the Jewish people.

Korach:  You got that right!  Who says he is so much better than the other Levites?  

Therapist:  Are there other Levites you think are more qualified?

Korach:  Absolutely!  You know it’s not as if Moshe is doing it all himself, he has Hashem behind him.  If Hashem had given me everything he has given Moshe I could do just as good a job, if not better.  

Therapist: So if I understand correctly, what you are saying is that Moshe isn’t really so great on his own, but rather Hashem has given him certain qualities?

Korach:  That’s exactly what I’m saying.  Is that fair, that he was given such talent?

Therapist:  I don’t’ know.  Do you think it’s fair?

Korach:  Absolutely not.  Why wasn’t I given those talents?

Therapist:  Were you given talents by Hashem?

Korach:  (Thinks for a minute).  Probably, but no one seems to value them.

Therapist:  Do you value the qualities that Hashem has given you?

Korach:  Why should I?  I’m obviously no Moshe!

There is a famous saying from the Torah which says, “Love your neighbour as you love yourself”.  The question is whether it can also be read the opposite way, “Love yourself, as you love your neighbour.”

Each person has enormous capabilities.  The problem is that all too often, people are not aware of them. And even if they are, they undermine their value in comparison to others’ talents.  One reason this occurs is because so much time is spent looking at others.  A person begins thinking, “Look at what so and so has done, and they did it so quickly.  Why did it take me so long?”  When we spend too much time comparing ourselves to others, we lose out on precious time that we could be embracing ourselves.  

Ever go to an amusement park that has a funhouse?  Inside there are all different types of mirrors.  Some of the mirrors are regular ones that allow you to see your reflection as it truly is.  Others, however, severely distort your image, making you taller, shorter, wider, skinnier, wavier, and other different funny unrealistic versions of yourself.  

Often when we look at others, we see their true potential.  Yet when we look at ourselves, all we see is a distorted image.  It is this wacky and warped image that hinders our growth and crushes our aspirations of who we want to be.  

The Baal Shem Tov (founder of Chassidus) said that when a person sees something negative in someone else, it means that there is a part of that negative trait in him as well.  I think the opposite holds true too.  When we look at others and see positive traits, talents, and characteristics, there is much of that positivity that we can find in ourselves as well, we only have to look. 

Korach spent so much time comparing himself to Moshe that he failed to acknowledge his own personalized role that Hashem had set out for him.  Life isn’t about how you measure up against others, but rather how you measure up against yourself.

Wishing you a wonderful Shabbos,
Nuta Yisrael Shurack
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Strings Attached (Parshas Shelach)

6/13/2014

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I wouldn't necessarily call myself the most organized person.  For a long time, I thought I could keep everything in my head.  And the majority of the time, I was able to.  A phone number, the date of an important event, the grocery list; all in my head.  From time to time, my wife suggested that I write something down in order not to forget and my usual response would be, “no no I have a fantastic memory, I’ll remember.”  Then I would go shopping and have to call her to ask about the one thing that she asked for but I couldn’t remember.  Other times, I would arrive home to realize that I had missed the main item I had gone to the store for.  

There are times where we would be planning our schedules for the month and Ettie would let me know about an appointment four weeks away.  "How about you write it down in your agenda" she would encourage me, and of course I would reply, “agendas are for people who can’t keep track of their lives!” Then I would point to my head and say, “I have it all up here, don’t worry I’ll remember to book the time off.”  Well lo and behold, two days before the appointment I would realize that it had slipped my mind and I double booked my time, leaving me having to frantically figure out how to fit everything in.  And it’s not just me; I have noticed a phenomenon that men in general often times shy away from note taking, agenda keeping, and writing things down. 

There are so many different methods and strategies for staying on top of important events, appointments, ideas, tasks, anniversaries, and so on.  The post-it note, for example, is an amazing tool.  Write it down, stick it where you will see it, and voila you have a reminder set out for you.  That is, until the stickiness wears off and the note falls behind your desk where you will no longer see it and but you know you're missing something yet can’t put your finger on it or remember that you wrote the note in the first place.

There are agendas.  Agendas are really great.  They have a daily organizer, as well as weekly, monthly, and even yearly calendars.  Some even have a section for phone numbers and notes.  But they are bulky and aren’t always convenient to carry around.  Then when you are out and need to check your schedule, you don’t have it with you because who carries an agenda with them at all times?

With the many technological advances we have seen over the last several years, one can use their phone as their scheduling system.  Smart phones have a wide variety of different apps that you can use to plan out your life, lose weight, and make your own song, all while taking pictures and talking to your friend in a far off place.  But you have to have a charger everywhere you go, and inevitably the phone dies unexpectedly right when you needed to use it as a reminder.

But there is one constant reminder that Hashem was gracious enough to tell us about.  In this week's parsha, Shelach, we learn about the mitzvah of wearing tzitzis.  Why do we wear a four cornered garment with long fringes attached?  The Torah clearly tells us:  “And it shall be to you as fringes; and you shall see it, and remember all the commandments of G-d, and do them; and that you seek not after your heart and your eyes, after which you go astray. That you may remember, and do all My commandments, and be holy to your G-d.”

Hashem knows that life is busy and that in the hustle and bustle it's easy to forget, both items that are big and items that are small.  That’s why He sought to give us a wearable post-it note.  A constant reminder, day or night which keeps us on track.  The stickiness won’t wear off, you don't need to charge it, and it's even wearable; so you can take it with you everywhere you go.  Best of all, it is a reminder not only to yourself, but can be an inspiration to others as well. 

So whether you’re the paper agenda type or the iPhone aficionado, grab yourself a pair of tzitzis, the best reminder of all.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful Shabbos,
Nuta Yisrael Shurack

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