A few incidents from this past week come to mind when I think of my son.

"Ducky! Ducky! Ducky!" I hear my son call out as he races towards me down the hallway!  No, it doesn't mean it's bath time.  Rather, it means he found some lose change and wants to put it in the tze-ducky box.   I can assure you, "ducky" will be heard down the block until the boy is given a tzedaka box to drop his coins and then shake with delight. 

We spent the afternoon at the park and came prepared with a variety of buckets and shovels to use in the sand box.  While my son is more on the shy side and takes time to warm up to new children, he sees a little boy his age sitting by himself about five feet away and promptly brings him one of his shovels.  "Build! Build!" he encourages the boy.

We have a family tradition of having a Shabbos party each week.  It involves talking about the parsha, saying the twelve pesukim, and singing some songs.  At its conclusion, the children receive a special treat.  As I was walking to the pantry, my son beat me there waiting in excitement.  But when I give him his candy, he doesn't rush to unwrap and savour his bounty.  "Bayla candy!" he insists, "Bayla candy!"  Only once I give him a candy to bring to his big sister does he enjoy his.

Yet when I accidentally put the shoes he had outgrown on him, forgetting that I had just bought him a new pair a week earlier, I didn't hear a peep.  When at breakfast I mistakenly poured him the wrong cereal instead of his favourite, he happily ate it anyway.  Or when I couldn't find his basketball even though that was precisely the game he wanted to play, he was happy to ride his bike instead.       

Two years ago, on the twenty seventh of Elul, our family experienced a tremendous miracle.  Our son was born not breathing and without a heartbeat.  That Rosh Hashanah my prayers were focused on one request.  Just one.  For my son to live.  Thank G-d, my prayers were answered.  Two year later he is a thriving active busy little boy.  He enjoys watching airplanes, playing ball, helping me bake, and cleaning the house.  One of his favourite activities is taking the bus.  He especially loves observing all of the sights and sounds unique to this mode of transportation.  It was this that inspired me to make him a birthday cake decorated in the shape of a bus. 

At such a young age, Shmuel Abba seems to already have a keen understanding of what is most important in life.  We know that one of greatest contributing factors to the destruction of the first and second Beis HaMikdash was sinas chinam (baseless hatred).  We also know that the building of the third and everlasting Beis HaMikdash will come to fruition when ahavas yisrael (love for our fellow Jew) overflows amongst the Jewish people.  Shmuel Abba watches out for others and is as concerned with their wellbeing as he is with his own.   

Just as important as the bus ride itself, is knowing when to get on the bus and when to get off.  In life we have to know where to put our energy and focus.  When to make a big deal about something and when to let it go.  When to make our voices heard and when to be okay with dropping the matter.  After all, it is Hashem who is driving the bus, and no one likes a backseat driver. 

Wishing you and yours a happy and sweet new year,
Ettie Shurack

You may not know it, but you are living in a super time.  I was in the car with a colleague of mine recently and he stopped off to pick up a snack.  Once at the drive through, the server asked him, "did you want to supersize that?"   Just last week, I was at 7-11 getting a slurpee with my kids and I overheard a gentleman order a hot dog and a large Coke.  The man behind the counter asked him, "did you want the super double big gulp?"  

Then I was at the local supermarket and there was a sale on cereal.  Buy two boxes of Cheerios and get a Super Family Sized box for half price.  The last time I was at the mechanic for an oil change I had the option of the "super deluxe package" which included not only an oil change but a slew of other bells and whistles I couldn't appreciate and would never know the difference if I got it or not.

And  so we are living in a world where the norm is no longer enough; we need super.  The question is in which areas is super really necessary?  What if instead of supersizing physical and material things, we supersized more important things in life?  What if we supersized our faith, supersized our spiritual endeavours, supersized our commitment to our families, and even supersized our kind acts and interactions with others?  Can you imagine what the world might be like.  Someone would ask you to help them jump start their car and you would say, "Sure I can help you.  Did you want that help supersized?  Not only can I help you get started I can stick around to make sure you are well on your way!"

In this week's Torah portion, Nitzavim-Vayelech, all of the Jewish people are gathered together before Moshe.  The water carriers, young people, men and women, elders, everyone.  Why?  Because the unity of the Jewish people is imperative.  Above everything else, not only do we need to stand before Hashem, we need to do it together, in unity.  As the last Shabbos before the new year, don't just have a regular Shabbos; supersize your Shabbos.  Soak in the spirituality and unique blessing that Shabbos brings and ready yourself for a supersized year!  

When I was growing up, I remember any time I had a birthday party I would hand write and mail out thank you cards to my friends for attending my party.  Slowly but surely times have changed.  People stopped mailing out cards and instead waited until they saw the person and handed it to them.  More years passed and instead of handwritten cards thank you emails were sent out to let people know you appreciated them.  With the cell phone industry booming and unlimited text messages on the rise, many people text a quick thank you with one hand while doing three other things with the other.

On the one hand, the advent of such technology has contributed to the loss of that personal touch that one can sense from reading a hand written card; and the excitement of opening a letter (a feeling that many children today cannot even identify with).  On the other hand, thanking people far and near has become quicker and easier, which means more people are being thanked, albeit in a less formal way. 

This begs the age old question of quality versus quantity.  Which is better?  And another question.  Why thank someone anyway?  If they wanted to give you a gift, a compliment, or a helping hand, didn’t they do it because they wanted to?  So why all the hoopla over gratitude?

The University of Pennsylvania  did a study in 2005 exploring psychological interventions that increase individual happiness. They tested five purported happiness interventions and one plausible control exercise, and  found that three of the interventions lastingly increased happiness and decreased depressive symptoms. One of the interventions called the “gratitude visit” had individuals write a thank you to someone that they had never properly thanked and deliver it to them.  The results were astounding.  People who did this exercise not only had an immediate increase in their happiness but it affected their happiness for up to a month.   Furthermore, of all the interventions studied, the "gratitude visit" had the most significant increase in people's happiness. 

It turns out that showing gratitude to someone and thanking them for what they have done, will ultimately make you happier.  In this week’s parsha, Ki Savo, Moshe instructs the Jewish people that when they enter the land of Israel that they are receiving from G-d as an eternal heritage, that they should bring their first ripened fruits to the Beis HaMikdash and declare their gratitude for all that G-d has done for them.   Why does Hashem need us to thank Him?  Is He insecure?  Looking for praise? 

According to Chassidus we know that a Jew must be joyful if he expects to fulfill his mission and utilize his potential to change the world.  This is not an external joy, but an internal joy which we have the power to create and develop.  This is no small feat when we live in such a challenging world.  Perhaps, G-d was giving us a hint as to how we could be more joyful which in turn would allow us greater access to our potential.  By thanking Hashem and showing Him gratitude we are not just making Him happy; we are making ourselves happy.  When we wake up in the morning and begin the day by saying Modeh Ani, thank you Hashem, for giving me life; we are actively injecting joy into our day from the very start.

Yes, it is true, that times have changed and there are many different ways to thank people for all they have done for you; but this is a side point.  The main focus isn’t how you thank someone, but that you thank them to begin with.  Send out those cards, write up an email, text your friend, and Facebook message a family member.  Let them know how much you appreciate all that they have done for you.  After all, it will make you a more joyful person.

A big THANK YOU for reading this article; I really appreciate it.

Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Nuta Yisrael Shurack