I received this humourous story titled "Pesach Preparation: 30 Days Before Pesach" from a friend, and I thought sharing it on one of the busiest (if not the busiest) days of the year could lighten the work load a bit.

I had 12 bottles of whiskey in my cellar and I was instructed by my wife to empty each and every bottle down the sink, so I proceeded with the task.  I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.  I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.  I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.  I pulled the cork from the fourth sink, poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.  I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next, and drank one sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass.  I pulled the sink out of the glass and poured the cork from the bottle.  Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink, and drank the pour.  When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles, corks, glasses, and sinks with the other, which were 29, and put the house in one bottle, which I drank.  I’m not under the affluence of incohol, but thinkle peep I am.  I’m not half so thunk as you might drink.  I fool so feelish I don’t know who is me, and the drunker I stand here the longer I get.

Wishing you and yours a truly uplifting Pesach,
Rabbi Nuta Yisrael Shurack

As I got into my vehicle this past Tuesday morning, I noticed that the car dipped a little lower than usual and was accompanied by an intense screeching sound.  Look, I’ll be the first to admit that I have been snacking a little bit more than usual and I still haven’t ordered that exercise bike that I have been telling everyone about but this was ridiculous.  My late night eating isn’t that out of control, I wondered, or is it?  On my drive to work, I debated in my mind what could be wrong with the car.  Since I know literally next to nothing about auto mechanics, anything and everything was popping into my mind. 

Maybe it’s the tires, I thought, I haven’t checked the air in a long time.  Could be the struts; I don’t know what a strut is but I had overheard someone else once say that they needed to get their struts replaced and it was fairly pricey.  Different scenarios played out in my mind and my morning was pretty much consumed by the mysterious sounds that emanated from my car every time I got in and out of it.  Then I noticed something which wasn’t great for my ego.  The sound also happened whenever I made a right turn.  Could it be that my extra weight was putting stress on the car to the point where it was at its breaking point?  Okay, that is just completely irrational, I told myself.  One thing I did know, I was bringing my car into the mechanic first thing the next day. 

I arrived at the local Big O Tire, where I always bring my car and was grateful that they were able to squeeze me in on such short notice.  After a quick diagnostic, they were able to assess the situation and figure out what was wrong.  The mechanic explained that the sway bar linkages were worn out.  Oh, okay, the sway bar linkages, right, why didn’t I think of that?  I’ll tell you why I didn’t think of it; it’s because I didn’t even know that my car had a sway bar, let alone a sway bar linkage.  One of the linkages was completely worn out, while the other was in fair condition.  The mechanic suggested I change both and gave me a reasonable price quote on the job. 

Though it was not a great deal of money, money is money, and I asked about the possibility of only changing the side that was worn out instead of both.  He explained that while that was a possibility, it was not recommended.  The reason being is that the sway bar helps balance the car as one drives and makes turns.  If one of the linkages is completely new and the other somewhat worn, one’s car will not be optimally balanced.  One could get by, he explained, but the car’s performance won’t be maximized. 

Well, I’m not one to skimp on maximizing potential, so I agreed and happily paid for the work.  As I waited for my car I pondered the importance of being balanced.  In our own lives as we ‘drive’ along making decisions, engaging in activities, learning Torah, doing mitzvahs, spending time with family and friends, it is important for us to be balanced.  Sure you can trot along in life working 90 hour weeks or only calling your good friend once a year on his/her birthday, but you won’t be maximizing your potential; you won’t be balanced. 

The same can be said of learning Torah and doing mitzvahs.  In this week’s parsha, Vayakhel-Pekudei, Moshe Rabbainu once again tells the Jewish people about the importance of keeping the Shabbos.  Why is the Shabbos so important?  One reason is that it keeps us anchored and focused on what is truly important in life; G-d, our family, and our friends.  Shabbos is a day where everything else falls away and the only thought on our minds is prayer and enjoying the company of our loved ones.  Though Shabbos is only one day a week, it keeps us grounded and balanced. 

I’m back on the road and my car hasn’t made any weird screeching sounds.  I did have an extra piece of cake tonight, but I don’t feel bad about it because I’m going to buy an exercise bike this week.  I recognize that much of life is a balancing act and that changing my sway bar linkages, i.e. rejuvenating my soul on a weekly basis, is what keeps me driving and living smoother than ever. 

Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Nuta Yisrael Shurack