I received this humourous story titled "Pesach Preparation: 30 Days Before Pesach" from a friend, and I thought sharing it on one of the busiest (if not the busiest) days of the year could lighten the work load a bit.
I had 12 bottles of whiskey in my cellar and I was instructed by my wife to empty each and every bottle down the sink, so I proceeded with the task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth sink, poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next, and drank one sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the glass and poured the cork from the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink, and drank the pour. When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles, corks, glasses, and sinks with the other, which were 29, and put the house in one bottle, which I drank. I’m not under the affluence of incohol, but thinkle peep I am. I’m not half so thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don’t know who is me, and the drunker I stand here the longer I get.
Wishing you and yours a truly uplifting Pesach,
Rabbi Nuta Yisrael Shurack
I had 12 bottles of whiskey in my cellar and I was instructed by my wife to empty each and every bottle down the sink, so I proceeded with the task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth sink, poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next, and drank one sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the glass and poured the cork from the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink, and drank the pour. When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles, corks, glasses, and sinks with the other, which were 29, and put the house in one bottle, which I drank. I’m not under the affluence of incohol, but thinkle peep I am. I’m not half so thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don’t know who is me, and the drunker I stand here the longer I get.
Wishing you and yours a truly uplifting Pesach,
Rabbi Nuta Yisrael Shurack
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