I had an extremely busy schedule this past week.  Between moving all our belongings to the new house, unpacking, creating a power point for a work presentation, grocery shopping, attending an upshernish, shopping for new furniture, attending and presenting at an important work conference, and all the other little (and big) tasks that come up during the week, I had very little time for anything else. 

The little free time I did have presented itself at random, unexpected times, ie: 10 minutes while waiting in line at the checkout counter, 8.5 minutes waiting for the clerk to check the back for more bookcases, 25 minutes waiting for the new anti-virus program to download.

What to do during those precious unaccounted for moments?  Reading the latest Readers Digest on the magazine rack?  Browsing furniture I know I’m not going to buy? Surfing the internet for the latest news and blog entries?  There are so many different ways to keep oneself busy that it is nearly overwhelming.  And thus, the phrase, "I am bored" never enters my lexicon.  I don't remember the last time I said that.  Maybe when I was six years old.  In fact, never before in history have there been so many accessible ways to fill our time, right at our very finger tips. 

Yet, for every negative (or even neutral) there is a positive.  We live in a time where we can access Torah literally at the push of a button.  We can carry the entire Talmud in our pockets, and have 1000s of classes plugged into the cigarette lighter in our car.  We have a choice: we can use our smart phones to read the latest Twitter feed about a friend of ours waiting in line at a grocery store, or we can read the daily section of the parsha.

It is said of Avraham Avinu that, “Abraham was old and come along in days" (Beraishis 24:1).  Our sages tell us that this means that Avraham did  not merely pass through life letting his days slip by; rather he utilized every single day, every single hour, and in fact every single minute to its maximum.  This is an amazing feat, considering the time period which Avraham Avinu lived in.  He didn’t have readily accessible Torah Texts, or shiurim he could attend, and yet he wouldn’t let a moment pass where he didn’t maximize his potential.

Today when we have so many different tools that allow us to make the most of every minute, let’s make sure to make Avraham Avinu proud.  Let’s ask ourselves, it Avraham had an iPhone, what would he do with it?  How would he use it to make the most of his day?

Wishing you a wonderfully productive and inspiring week,
Nuta Yisrael

Today, the 11th of Mar Chesvan, is our Matriarch Rachel's yarzeit.  I forever hold a personal connection with the anniversary of the passing of Rachel Imeinu because had it not been for her, I would not have met my husband (in such a direct way).  Being that we are soul mates, we would have met, it just may not have happened in such an easy clear-cut fashion.  And from speaking with friends, the parsha of shidduchim is not an easy one.   

A couple weeks ago, on Simchas Torah, we were eating with close friends of ours and sitting at the table was a newlywed couple.  There is something so special about spending time with a bride and groom.  Something so exhilarating yet comforting, subtle yet dynamic, gentle yet vibrant.  Being that my husband and I had celebrated our eighth anniversary this past summer, I (fortunately or unfortunately, depending on who you ask) no longer consider myself a newlywed.  However, I get an excited-clammy-palms, heart-beats-a-little-faster feeling every time I think about how my husband and I met.  So when my friend asked if we could tell the story about how we met, I readily agreed.  She has heard it countless times, and often has to prompt me about details I have missed.  But, she tells me she loves the story because it is a textbook example of a shidduch where Hashem's hand is so evident. 

Hashem is always present in all shidduchim.  In fact, there once was the story of a Roman noblewoman who asked Rabbi Yosi ben Chalafta what Hashem was so busy with, given that He finished creating the world long ago.  Rabbi Yosi's response, "Making matches."  To which she replied "Is that all?" and made 1000 matches between her male and female slaves that very evening, only to discover the following morning that very few of them were satisfied.  It is no surprise that making shidduchim is a large part of Hashem;s day.

But my friend seems to think that our case in particular shows that nothing is impossible; if Hashem wants two people to meet.  Our story depicts how a boy from New York working in Manchester can meet his soul mate, a girl from Vancouver who is studying in Israel through a wacky and coincidental series of events.  Then again, is anything really coincidence?  Or is everything hashgocha pratis, divine providence? 

And so my husband and I laughed and laughed and laughed while telling the story of how we met.  We each have our take on certain details, but overall we're in agreement on the general procession of events.  I laughed so hard that tears were forming at the corners of my eyes.  It's been a while since I laughed so hard.  I hope it happens sometime soon again, because boy did it feel good.  

One of my favourite parts of a wedding ceremony is the bedekin.  I feel that it is infused with meaning, depth, and significance.  A powerful and soul churning Chassidic tune is sung by the guests as the groom approaches his wife, with his father and father-in-law by his side.  The groom and bride lock eyes after not seeing one another for seven full days.  The groom places a veil over the bride's face, and the fathers each take a moment to bless the bride.  The couple is then escorted towards the chuppah where they will transform from being a young man and young woman to a husband and wife forever bound together. 

At every chassunah I attend, I strive to be present for that moment.  The moment where a husband, by covering his wife's face, is announcing that they cannot see what the future will hold and the uncertainty may be blinding at times, yet they are ready for the awesome journey that awaits them.  Because together, they can move mountains! 

Over the last days of Succos, while I liked sitting across from the newlyweds, I loved sitting beside my partner and best friend of eight years.  And what an amazing eight years it has been!  Our journey together has included eternal joy, true happiness, endless laughter; as well as loss, pain, and tears.  But without these, we could never have experienced hope, courage, inspiration, support, growth, and encouragement.

Thank you Rachel Immeinu for bringing an energetic, spontaneous, and adventurous 20 year old girl to the West Bank to hear a lecture on the mitzvahs of being a women at your burial place (just outside of Bethlechem).  Ending up stranded in Jerusalem without a way back north to Tzfat, only to find herself at a complete stranger's Shabbos table.  One week of long distance phone calls.  A kind, sensitive, and sensible young man's flight from England to the Holy Land.  Three dates, and hours of deep heart to heart conversations.  A proposal right in front of a garbage can.  And as they say, the rest is history.

Wishing you and yours a great week ahead,
Ettie

We are currently knee deep in boxes.  We have spent the past 2 days organizing, sorting, packing, loading, transporting, and unloading.  In sum, a lot of shlepping.  And a whole lot of heading scratching, "Hmmm where should this go?" 

But don't worry, just because we're moving houses doesn't mean A Shtikel Vort is going anywhere.  Like Avraham Avinu, we are moving onto bigger and greater challenges, we are starting a new chapter in our lives, and we are ready for any opportunity that Hashem brings our way.  Because we know that Hashem is right beside us, cheering for us along the journey. 

While I don't considering packing and moving to be a highlight in one's life, it is these tasks that lay the foundation for the adventures to come.  Stay tuned for an article this week on precisely that, adventures.

Shavuah tov, a gute voch, have a great week,
Ettie

This week, my three year old daughter made a beautiful craft involving stars, stickers, and lanyard; three of her favourite arts and crafts items.  She created a beautiful necklace that is in the shape of a star and decorated it with bright glittery stickers that are stars of varying shapes and colours.  She then glued on a photo that I captured of, yes you guessed it, her gazing up at the stars. 

Aside from the great curb appeal of the project, there was a key phrase on the necklace that read "In Parshas Lech Lecha, we learn that Avraham would have as many children as the stars in the sky... I am one of those precious stars."  Ironically my daughter ended up covering up most of the words on the necklace with her star stickers.  While the craft was cute and she really enjoyed meticulously decorating her necklace and placing the stickers in just the right spots, I had hoped that the message we discussed while making the project would be long lasting.

While we were learning the parsha this week, there were many themes that came up and provided me with the opportunity to discuss several lifelong lessons.  We made a suitcase and took scrupulous care in stocking it up with personalized items for Avaraham and Sara to bring on their journey to Caanan.  We sang songs about travelling by camel.  We read books and played games involving the many ways to travel; by foot, bus, bicycle, trolley, scooter, car, airplane, boat, helicopter, and of course tractor (that was my daughter's choice).  Yet, the lesson that I kept coming back to was the message from the verse that Hashem told Avraham when showing him the land he would inherit.  "Please look heavenward and count the stars, if you are able to count them... So will be your seed" (Beraishis 15:5).

As many know, I tremendously enjoy reading, and not just any reading, but reading with a purpose.  Our bookshelves are filled with a variety of books on Torah perspectives on marriage, parenting, self-development, and growth.  The insightful Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski, a leading expert in counselling, guidance, and psychology is one of my favourite authors.  Although he has written a variety of books on a multitude of topics, they all hold a central theme: the role, importance, and value of self-esteem.  He expounds on the idea of self-esteem to say that many of our struggles and challenges are connected to our deeply ingrained self-concept and perceptions of who we are and what we are here for.  I certainly appreciate the importance of this.

But it wasn't until reading a personal essay of his, titled "My Own Struggle with Low Self-Esteem," that the message really hit home.  He writes, 'People often ask me, "Is it true that you've written over 50 books?  How did you find time, with your busy schedule, to write so many books?" I tell them that I did not really write fifty books. I wrote one book, in fifty different ways.  Almost everything I write relates in one way or another to the theme of self-esteem.'  I pondered this concept further and reflected, if the Torah and psychology giant, Rabbi Twerski, could have doubts about himself, maybe I should stop running away from my own personal doubts.

I wrote an email this morning to a friend of mine who recently had a baby boy to plan some times when I could come over and watch her three older boys so she could get some rest.  We were also chit chatting back and forth by email, so I mentioned that I had attended a bris last night across the border and had come home late.  Despite going to sleep 3 hours later than usual, in his typical early bird fashion my one year old son got up at 6am, while it was already 8am and my daughter was sleeping in (I miss the days when waking at 7:30 or 8am wasn't considered sleeping in).

My friend, ever the thoughtful one, wrote back to me that it sounded like I had my hands full, so no need to come over today like I offered.  However, I'm not one to back down so easily, so I wrote back,  "It seems I always have my hands full, I don't know, maybe I'm a frazzled mom, not the type that has her makeup on just right or never appears to be hurried or harried, hehe.  I really don't mind.  Between last night and this morning, I'm done almost all of my Shabbos prep.  So if you'd like a break, just give me a call, and I would be happy to take your kids to the park."  And then I went on to ramble about the pros and cons of children sleeping in and therefore not being tired to go to bed on time later in the evening versus waking a child at their regular time and them being sleepy and grumpy the whole day but going to bed a little early that evening.  I'm still not sure which is better or if they are equally as bad, but I digress.

As I pressed send, I noticed that there may have been confusion in my email.  So being the perfectionist that I am, I had to clarify, 'Correction, the "I really don't mind" part applies to coming over, not being frazzled.  That, I wouldn't mind changing.  Although those who don't know me well are always telling me "wow you are the most cool, calm, collected mom I've ever met" - ha what a load of baloney!'  I closed my laptop screen and went back to the 17 hour a day task of cleaning up and tidying our home.

As I was putting away rogue objects and getting our home ready for Shabbos, I noticed Bayla's star project hanging on her door knob.  She saw me admiring her work of art and promptly walked over and put in around her neck.  She then proudly exclaimed "I am a star!"  I smiled and nodded, "Yes you are sweetheart."  But it was her words to come that brought tears to my eyes.  "You are too, Mama, you are a star."  Words cannot express the emotions that overtook me at that moment.  Maybe I am the cool, calm, and collected mother I'd like to be.  And maybe I can look put together without wearing lots of makeup.  Maybe it's everyone who's correct and it's me who has foggy vision.  After all, strength in numbers.

I am a perfectionist.  There is no one who I hold to a higher level than myself.  The expectations I set are sometimes so high that I become overwhelmed by my goals, ambitions, and aspirations.  I am hard on myself, really hard.  I once (okay, a few times) got hives because I was so stressed from all the projects I took on.  I wear my heart on my sleeve; I love my family and close friends more than words can say.  I live and learn.  I take risks and learn from my mistakes. 

I believe this is a common theme.  It's not just me, it's many women (in fact, dare I say, all women).  We were created by Hashem to be superwomen.  Like Chava in the Garden of Eden, we are natural born leaders.  As women, we are trail blazers.  We can be holding a baby in one arm, a load of laundry in the other, mentally keeping track of when the soup comes to a boil, our reading glasses perched on our foreheads, while delegating tasks to others with the grace of a ballerina and the command of a national football coach.  We have so many roles and responsibilities, that were a Martian to look down at us from a flying saucer, he would think to himself "wow what an amazing species."

I began to contemplate my unique individual makeup, and the many roles in my life; wife, mother, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, aunt, friend.  I also have the aspects of my identity that are associated with my passion to help others; social worker, counselor, researcher, writer, editor, volunteer, financial strategist and planner, resume builder, job and interview consultant.  I then have other parts of me for all the areas of life that I enjoy (albeit I wish I could spend more time on them) such as nature lover, photographer, life learner, artist, handywoman and DIY project starter (unfortunately not always finisher), graphic designer, children's storybook writer (a girl can dream, right?).

I may not be perfect but parts of me are pretty awesome.  I work hard and play hard.  I have my quirks.  I have short comings.  I have areas that I know need work.  But I am not afraid of a challenge.  The challenge of reaching my potential.  Living up to who Hashem knows I can become.  Hashem promised Avraham that he would have as many children as the stars in the sky.  And I am one of those stars. 

I have my dear three year old daughter to thank for teaching me this very important lesson in her own sweet subtle way.  And I have Hashem to thank for giving me the knowhow to recognize that I am a star and have the strength to continue shining as bright as I can.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful Shabbos,
Ettie

In this week's Torah portion, parshas Lech Lecha, G-d speaks to Avram and instructs him "Go from your land, from your birthplace, and from your father's house, to the land which I will show you."  

If it isn't scary enough leaving our parent's house, and leaving the city where we were born, and leaving the land where we are accustomed to, I don't know what is.  Well, going to a land that Hashem will show us does sound exciting and exhilarating, but fear and uncertainly would certainly creep up in there for me.

It is from this week's Torah portion where the phrase "home is where the heart is" is coined.  Hashem is showing us that we can feel at home, we can be comfortable with ourselves, and we can live up to our potential - at any time in any place.   

Have a great week,
Ettie

After putting the kids to sleep this evening, I sat down on the couch to relax and read a book.  As I sunk into the couch, put my feet up, and made myself comfortable after a busy day, I immediately realized I had forgotten to shut the window.  Unfortunately, I was interrupted by an incessant buzzing in my ear.  Fifteen minutes later, I was still trying to shoo the mosquito out the door and my moment of relaxation went out the window. 

In this week’s Torah portion, parshas Noach, Hashem tells Noach to build an ark and bring two of every non-kosher animal and seven of every kosher animal into the ark.  It begins to rain and Noach sets sail with the mission to resettle the Earth.  A thought comes to mind, one that has me scratching my head in bewilderment.  I can understand having the animals in pairs, after all we want them to be able to repopulate.  What would the world be like without the elegant giraffe, brave lion, or cute little penguins? 

But there is an animal or two that I think the world could do without.  Like the skunk, rats, scary looking spiders, and of course mosquitoes.  Let’s focus on the mosquito for a moment.  It makes an annoying buzzing sound which can drive a person mad.  It's virtually impossible to chase out of one's home.  And, to top it off, it leaves its victims with an itchy bump when it bites.  As hard as one tries not to scratch, this rarely works, and the more one scratches the itchier it gets.

If the world was beginning a new following the flood, why not get rid of all the not-so-great creatures, and only keep the beautiful ones?  That’s what I would do.  I did some research and it even turns out that some scientific authorities argue that mosquitoes are amongst the most dangerous animals on Earth.  So why perpetuate their existence?

The reason is actually quite simple: every aspect of creation brings value and meaning to our existence.  After a month of non-stop insight and inspiration, we have two choices; to let all the motivation slowly slip away, or to use it to propel us forward into the year making the most of each and every day.  Maximizing every moment requires that we recognize challenges as opportunities for growth, rather than a time to complain. 

Sure, mosquitoes are annoying, itchy, scratchy, and an all around nuisance.  But, we can also learn a very important lesson from these pesky little creatures.  They teach us that when we only take from others, from life, from Hashem, and neglect to give of ourselves, we are negating a special quality of our existence.  Hashem has bestowed unique characteristics, talents, and gifts in each of us, and it is our responsibility to use them to reach our potential and make a difference in the world. 

If it were up to me, perhaps I would have left the mosquito behind, and thus saved everyone money on antihistamines.  But then maybe we risk not learning an important lesson from even the smallest of creatures.  Perhaps we ourselves would be more likely to be takers rather than givers, leaving our world just a little bit dimmer.

I may not be happy about getting all bitten up from time to time, and having my relation disturbed; but it does serve as a healthy reminder to give all that I can.  And when we give what we have, we infuse ourselves and others with strength, and we make the world a brighter place.